Six Tiny Unseen Things

A micro-memoir on appearance.

The word of the week is unseen (adj.) “never before seen, unknown, wonderous, or invisible, hidden.”

This week in meditation class, we read Rick Rubin’s The Creative Act, and the chapter titled: The Unseen

1. “Art is our portal to the unseen world.

   The spiritual world provides a sense of wonder and a degree of open-mindedness not always found within the confines of science…

   There are deeper meanings behind the surface.”

   ---

   That reminded me:

2. As a teenager, I yearned to be a star, marry a handsome man, and have children. Friends told me I should model.

   They called me “Goddess”, “Gazelle”, and “Sexy legs!”

   

3. At twenty-two, I modeled in Boston, praying my appearance would be part of my winning ticket to an Oscar.

4. At twenty-eight, my first year at graduate school at the Old Globe Theater/University of San Diego Professional Acting Program, I was cast as the Pedant in The Taming of the Shrew.

   At the first read-through, I couldn’t get a word out, and tears poured down my face.

5. The professor said something wasn’t right. Go get tested.

6. When the tests came back, the university’s psychologist said, “You’re severely dyslexic. I’m amazed you got this far. How did you get here?”

   “Faking it. And hard work,” I said.

   I didn’t mention cheating or how feeling dumb was my go-to.

   

   In the dance room, I rehearsed alone in front of the mirror. I wanted to find the Pedant’s posture and walk. I slouched, and shuffled, and slowly began to penguin around the room. That’s when his raspy voice came, like a cat with a hairball.

   Later, at a gift & gag shop, I found his glasses and a rubber nose. The rest, including the shoes, I dug out of the theater’s costume department.

   I can’t remember where the beard or walking stick came from.

   ---

   It’s vulnerable to see yourself as a protagonist.

   But like an actress, playing a character serves a larger story.

   ---

   Are we all dreams, reconfigured?

   ---

   I’d love to hear a moment when your dream or narrative was reconfigured.

   Thank you for reading.

   See you next week,

   Jennifer